Friends.
As simple as the title may seem this word comes with a lot of complicated feelings and situations.
I am not stranger to home sickness even on the brightest of days. Being millions of miles away from your friends and family can take a huge toll on your heart.
Last Sunday I went into full out fetal position because I was on facebook seeing all my beautiful friends getting married, buying houses, and having beautiful children.
The thought that echoed through my mind was:
What if they forget about me... I'm so far away and they only see me once a year, it just seems like I will slip away from their new adult life.
I went immediately into panic mode and just started bawling.
Sometimes being here makes me feel lonely and lost in translation. When I see my friends doing well, I am absolutely over the moon for them, but secretly jealous and questioning my own life choices.
I know before I came to Korea I had some critics saying,
"What are you running from?"
"You can't live there forever."
"You should be an adult and start your life here"
Without a doubt it hurt hearing those things, but ultimately I got here and I'm actually pretty proud of myself and the life I have chosen. sometimes.
Let me get to the point:
The point is I've been personally struggling with friendships here (in Korea) and my friendships at home (in America).
The way I see it is, in Korea there are different categories of friends; work friends, party friends, and actual friends.
Sure the same applies no matter where you are from in the world BUT making friends in a foreign country isn't as easy and some people may think.
It's absolutely true when people say,"Foreigners judge other foreigners." Hell I'm guilty of it. But here to find genuine relationships that will last forever is difficult. Different circles of friends, gossip, and constant 1-ups on people becomes childish and dull.
Lately the pressure of putting a smile on and being tight lipped has really gotten me down.
The point of having friends is to enjoy their company and to foreign together.
Lately I've been keeping to myself and hanging out with my boyfriend and just trying to work on myself.
I have to admit going home in July in always bitter sweet. Last year it felt great to see everyone and I realized I wasn't missing much... but this year I may feel different.
Life abroad isn't always rainbows and butterflies and there are some personal hardships that come with it.
I just the moral of the story is to stay true to yourself and have fun. Find people who uplift you, instead of tear you down.
To all my friends I love you and miss you. I don't tell y'all enough but you guys mean to world to me. At some point I will come home for good....
For now I'm not done exploring.
xoxo
Julie
